It involved a Lebanese man.
A very handsome, sexy Lebanese man.
Works in the convenience store near my apartment.
He’s from the western suburbs.
Fully sik.
And fully hot.
And very friendly, chatty and polite.
Such a total turn-on.
But while I have always been polite in return I have remained fairly circumspect in my responses, controlling any effusive homosexual outbursts, imagining that they would perhaps be unwelcome.
Although recent events have had me re-thinking tendency towards unfavourable profiling.
And just as well.
@hot_leb compliments me on my tan.
Says he has noticed I haven’t been around for a while.
Tells me it’s been quiet in the shop today.
Then looks around conspiratorially, crooks his finger at me and beckons in manner of hook-nosed-witch-from-fairytale and lures me through the plastic strip curtain to the back of the shop.
Heart is a-poundin’ and loins are a-stirrin’.
@hot_leb truly is hot.
As hot as @hot_terrorist.
He could take me hostage anytime.
I slyly glance in direction of his crotch and wonder about the mass of his weapon of destruction.
You want some? he says.
Throat is dry and I am momentarily and uncharacteristically lost for words.
You don’t like? he asks.
Realise he is gesturing towards the cooktop.
Am crestfallen.
But also hungry, so consolation prize is welcome.
He has cooked something and wants to share it.
Balmain bugs.
Balmain bugs.
Seems he has friend who works on trawler.
Hoe into bugs, thinking life is not so bad.
Remember last man I’d met in convenience store and know that I am better off.
He’d given me crabs.
Of which I’d managed to rid myself prior to being sucked off by assistant priest at nephew’s christening.
Of course, at the time, I was unaware that he was going to assist in the christening of nephew.
Or in fact that he was a priest.
Had happened in sordid venue at end of trashy night.
Lucky it had been dark.
He showed no recognition as we all stood around the altar.
Maybe it was the beard.
Apart from moment of panic at first sighting of @blow_jobbing_priest, christening went almost without a hitch.
And @blow_jobbing_ priest did not have pivotal role so was easy to avoid direct eye contact.
Was honoured to be nephew’s godfather and asked my mother what it entails, apart from not drowning the kid in the baptismal font.
Oh, you know, she said, you have to renounce the devil.
Told her I didn’t know if I could renounce the devil and mean it.
The devil’s been a big part of my life for a long time.
Will be hard to let him go now.
Somehow found myself committing to paying of school fees – although I can barely afford my strata levies.
Felt better at the thought of having 12 years to save.
Priest also made comment that nephew would want to grow up to be just like me.
Looks of great concern from in-laws.
He may even have a beard just like yours, he said.
Not if he wants to travel, I countered.
Wonder if priest thinks I look like a Muslim.
Realise that @blow_jobbing_priest has seen my uncut cock and, if pressed, could testify that I am in fact not a Muslim.
Wonder if uncut cock is admissible as evidence in defence against Islamic terrorism charge.
Wonder if it is perhaps not kosher to be thinking about uncircumcised cocks at nephew’s christening.
Wonder if nephew is condemned to an eternity in limbo for having gay godfather who is mistaken for Muslim and thinks about cocks and kosher in a Catholic church.
Now feel quite resolved that if there really is a god, he really wouldn’t mind.
But there’s still no harm in giving nephew 8 year old Dolce & Gabbana rosary beads as additional christening gift.
Just in case.
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